"I just don't want you to leave," Derek chokes out, and immediately feels guilty for it. He just can't imagine living through losing Barry, and it's what he's been afraid of from the moment they started dating.

He lets out a shuddering breath and puts his hand over Barry's, cheek pressed to Barry's chest. The warm silver shape of the triskelion charm presses into his skin. "I'm sorry-- I shouldn't have said that. You don't have any control over it. No one does. That's the shittiest part."

Barry's arms around him calm him, even if he is scared of losing him. Even if he does, especially if he does, Derek has to take advantage of every single second. "Every single time I get comfortable here, when I'm finally-- happy, I lose someone and I'm reminded that's-- that's just what happens to me. I lose everyone."