Derek's staring at me, eyes wide and terrified like I'm the monster.
And I can't help feeling that way. I've been meaning to tell him for weeks and I know I should've by now. It'd be so easy to lie and say that Noah told me, to go on pretending that I don't know all that I do. But there's no way the guilt wouldn't eat me up even more and the last thing I want is to go any longer without being honest.
This is not the best time and place, I know. If he's angry enough to leave me out here I don't know what I'll do. And it'd be even worse if he lets his honor and goodness override his anger just to keep me alive.
But I can't lie anymore. I can't.
"No one told me," I say, shaking my head, my hands drawn up tight against my chest. It's been a long time since I've really felt as small as I know I am. "No one had to. I've... I've known for a long time. Since I met you. Since before I met you, actually. You, uhm. There's a show I used to watch a lot back home and you're, uh. You're on it."
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And I can't help feeling that way. I've been meaning to tell him for weeks and I know I should've by now. It'd be so easy to lie and say that Noah told me, to go on pretending that I don't know all that I do. But there's no way the guilt wouldn't eat me up even more and the last thing I want is to go any longer without being honest.
This is not the best time and place, I know. If he's angry enough to leave me out here I don't know what I'll do. And it'd be even worse if he lets his honor and goodness override his anger just to keep me alive.
But I can't lie anymore. I can't.
"No one told me," I say, shaking my head, my hands drawn up tight against my chest. It's been a long time since I've really felt as small as I know I am. "No one had to. I've... I've known for a long time. Since I met you. Since before I met you, actually. You, uhm. There's a show I used to watch a lot back home and you're, uh. You're on it."