triskehale | dust to dust (dated 10/27, closed to neil and bitty)

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dust to dust (dated 10/27, closed to neil and bitty)

It's about time that Bitty finds out that Derek is a werewolf.

Derek doesn't really know why he's waited so long. Maybe it's because he enjoys Bitty's company and from what he can tell, there is nothing about the supernatural world that is real where Bitty's from. He just doesn't want to scare Bitty off, but it's starting to reach the point where it feels dishonest, and Derek would much rather be able to be himself.

So that's why he's asked Bitty to meet him in the park, and why he's asked Neil to come along. He knows that Neil and Bitty are acquainted, and Neil has always been so accepting of what Derek is. He likes it, even. He hopes that having Neil there might soften the blow, and if Bitty does freak out and take off, Derek won't be alone.

"There he is," Derek says, nudging Neil's arm before pointing at Bitty. He's sitting at a picnic table a few dozen feet away and Derek lifts his hand in greeting. He takes a few steps away from Neil and suddenly stops. There's a noise like feedback in his ear and he blinks as the ground seems to fall out from underneath him.

One second, Derek is there. The next, he's completely vanished.

Derek opens his eyes in a bit of a panic, letting his gaze dart around. He's still in the park, still in Darrow, but everything is different. The sky is gloomy and dark and everything smells like ash. The scent burns his nostrils, distressingly familiar as it is, and his heart leaps into his throat.

"Neil?" He calls out, turning in a circle even though he's obviously alone. "Bitty? Fuck."

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I haven't the foggiest idea why Derek's asked me to meet him in the park this afternoon. I have the day off, but I'm supposed to report to Semele's in a couple hours so it's not like I won't see him there. Of course, my brain comes up with a dozen ideas, each one more ridiculous than the last, but I'm only a little disappointed when I see that Neil's with him.

At least that nixes the idea that he's planning on firing me. I can't imagine Derek would do that in front of anyone, much less someone who doesn't even work at Semele's.

Derek notices me and nudges Neil before standing up and I wave.

And then Derek... disappears.

I stop right where I am, eyes wide. Is this... is this a joke? Some sort of trick? I know Derek has certain powers, but I'm pretty sure he can't just disappear into thin air.

"Derek?" I ask, ignoring the fact that I could very well be making a fool of myself right now.

I didn't want to be there.

Or maybe I did. I couldn't really make up my mind about it. It seemed like it wasn't my business, whatever went on with Derek and his strays, but at the same time... At the same time, being allowed to come along made me feel more like part of his pack than I ever had.

When Derek caught sight of the kid, I lifted a hand, mindlessly resting it against the small of Derek's back, but before I could pull away, he was gone.

I gaped, mouth hanging open, my hand hovering in midair. Eric called out, but I just fucking stood there. What the fuck, what the fuck...

"Stay there," I said to Eric, taking a step back myself, in case there was something about that spot in particular. "Derek!" I shouted, hearing the panic in my own voice. He was gone. Just fucking gone. Heart hammering in my chest, I looked around. Left, right, like maybe I could find the answers there.

Then the world seemed to blink out of existence. Black and then grey. So much grey. It was cold and I was still standing in the park, but it was all grey, like the color had been forcefully drained from everything. The grass underfoot, the trees. It smelled like smoke and burning oil and rust.

"Derek," I said again, making out the shape of him through the haze.

Derek whirls around at the sound, and the red of his eyes are the only bright spots in the otherwise gray landscape. It's like the saturation has been turned down on everything, and the stench of ash is making Derek want to throw up. He hates the smell of charred wood and ash because it always invokes this sense memory of him puking his guts up outside their burning home, and the way his family's charred flesh smelled in the air.

"Neil," he says gratefully, clutching Neil's shoulder and then looking around. "Wait, where's Bitty?"

He lets out a growl and looks around, calling Bitty's name. The ash is dulling his sense of smell, and his fingers dig into Neil's shoulder. "What the fuck is this?"

Neil looks just as surprised, his eyes wild as he looks from the empty spot where Derek used to be up to me. I can only nod, still gaping, and a second later he's gone, too.

"Oh my god," I breathe, far past stunned now and veering dangerously into outright scared.

It's a trick, I think. It has to be a trick. There are wizards in this place, I know because I've met the most famous wizard ever, so it's not an impossibility. Neil had looked shocked, but he's already shown me he can be a good actor and--

Oh my god.

Between one blink and the next, everything's changed. Actually, I'm not sure I've even blinked at all, but the sun is gone, the air reeking of smoke and sulfur and rot. It still looks like the park, but the trees are sorta bent and withered, what used to be the picnic table looks rotted out and mangled.

"Derek!" I shout, my heart leaping in relief when I spot him only a few yards away. Neil's with him and they both look as shocked as I feel.

This definitely no longer feels like a trick.

Without another thought, I'm running towards them, heart in my throat. "What's happened? What is this?"

With his hands on my shoulders, I felt like my knees might buckle. Like I might not be able to stand without him holding me up. I clutched at him, one hand on his arm, the other clutching at his waist. I wanted to bury my face in his neck, but I didn't.

"I don't know. I told him to stay back. I--" I shook my head, but in the distance, I could hear the kid calling to us.

Taking a step back, I kept one hand on Derek's arm, afraid that he might vanish again if I wasn't hanging on. I pulled out my cell phone, but the screen was pixelated, the numbers on the clock flickering at random.

It was so, so quiet.

Derek lunges forward to grab Bitty once he's close enough, like if he keeps one hand on each of them, they can't be torn apart. Neil is catching at him and Derek has a hand dug into his shoulder, and the other goes around Bitty's arm, dragging him in closer.

"I don't know," Derek says quietly. There are plenty of people in this city that he cares deeply for, but for right now, he just has to focus on Neil and Bitty. As long as they're safe, he can think. It's not like he has any answers, but he can think. "It must be the city. It plays tricks, does things. It has to be--"

There's a noise in the distance, something slithering along, smelling like rot and sulfur. Derek goes stiff and slowly turns towards the sound, feeling his fangs extend behind his lips when a creature emerges from the trees. It's black and scaly, big enough that Derek nearly has to look up. It's winding towards them and Derek can't tell if it has no legs, or thousands of them. What it does have is teeth, and the thing opens its gaping maw when it spots them, letting out a sound like a hiss as it starts heading their way.

"Stay behind me," Derek growls out, crowding Neil and Bitty behind him as he stares the thing down, preparing himself for a fight. This thing is threatening his pack, and the wolf inside of him wants to tear it apart.

I don't have a clue what's happening, but I don't think I've ever been so happy to see Derek in my life. I'm pressed as close to him as possible, Neil on his other side. The sound of my own breathing is overwhelming in the absence of car noises and birds and it takes everything in me to just not bury my face into Derek's shoulder and pretend it's just not happening.

Of course, I don't. For a dozen reasons, the most prominent being the unmistakable sound in the distance, a weird, slick, slithering noise.

And then there's... there's a thing emerging from the trees, huge and scaley and weirdly amorphous. It's hard to even tell where it ends and where it begins, but it lets out a horrific hissing growl before it starts slithering our way. Swallowing back a yelp of fear, I crowd behind Derek, instinctively grabbing onto Neil's arm in the process.

"I don't like this," I whimper, terrified for my own life and Neil's, and for Derek who's clearly more than ready to protect us. And I know he can, I know he has abilities that make him extremely capable, but I don't know what that thing can do. I don't know anything. "I don't like this at all."

"No shit," I hissed, grabbing Eric by the back of his shirt and hauling him a step back from Derek, because I knew we were both better off if we could get out of his way.

"Derek," I said, and it was maybe a warning, because I could hear other things in the coming dark, things wailing in the distance. We needed to go. I had a feeling we were about to see him tear that thing to pieces and any other time, I might've actually enjoyed it. But right then, getting off on watching Derek claw something apart didn't seem like a priority.

Derek hears the tone in Neil's voice, and part of him thinks that he's right, that maybe should turn and go. But Derek has never been one to run away from a fight, and this thing is heading for them like it's going to track them even if they run. It's singularly focused, and when it gets closer it opens its gaping maw to reveal an unending circle of jagged, needle-like teeth. They're slick and dripping, and Derek feels his own fangs drop in response.

The thing hisses and Derek roars, shifting into beta form as his eyes glow red. Dimly, somewhere in the back of his mind, he thinks about how he didn't want Bitty to find out this way. But the thought vanishes as the thing lunges forward, and Derek throws himself at it before it can get closer.

It feels slimy and scaly all at once and Derek's claws drag through the thing's hide, trying to find arteries or tear at muscle. The monster's blood comes out thick and black, and Derek lets out another roar as sharp teeth sink into his side. He whips around and finds the beast's mouth, digging his claws in just underneath and raking them down, tearing away what passes for the thing's throat. It lets out a shriek and gurgles, falling limply to the ground. It twitches and then goes still, and Derek looks down at the wound on his side. Blood is seeping through the cotton, staining it red, but it isn't too bad. He has no idea how long it'll take him to heal, but he can already feel a vague itch under his skin, the beginnings of healing.

His face shifts back to that of a human, but he still feels too threatened to retract his fangs and claws. He turns back to Neil and Bitty, eyes wide and red, and he's fully prepared to see Bitty look at him like he's a monster.

I stumble back when Neil grabs me, too scared to protest. It's really all I can do to stay upright and not just collapse into a ball like we used to do for tornado drills when I was a kid.

"Oh my god, what even is that?" The question isn't directed toward anyone and barely comes out as anything more than a whimper. It gets lost in the sound of the creatures' violent hiss and Derek's roar anyway and I wince, startled, grabbing on tighter to Neil's arm.

A second later and Derek's transformed right in front of us, into a wolf with sharp teeth and red eyes. It's not shocking, really. I know what he is and I've seen this before if only on my television back home. But it's still weird to watch it happen right in front of me and I stare, wide-eyed, as Derek lunges for the horrible creature, powerful jaws snapping at ripping into putrid, slimy flesh. The fight doesn't last long, clearly doesn't stand a chance against Derek, though when Derek morphs back into his more human form, he has a gash in his side, shirt ripped and skin bloody.

The air around us rings with silence again and I manage to find my breath as I stare at him, loosening my grip on Neil to take a shaky step toward Derek. "You're hurt," I tell him, nodding at his bloodied side and then, a second later, I remember he can heal. Or at least I think he can. God, I hope that's not something he's lost somehow in being in Darrow. It's not like I thought to bring my First Aid kit with me today.

"It'll heal," I said absently, taking a mirroring step forward, when Eric did. Derek looked wild, terrified, but I didn't think it was because of that thing. He looked at Eric like he expected the kid to be disgusted. To spit in his face and turn and run.

"It's okay," I said, stepping forward and holding out a hand to Derek. The kid just stood there. He didn't look surprised at all, really. So either he was in shock, or he'd figured out Derek's secret a while ago. I didn't really care either way. "Come on."

Bitty doesn't even look afraid of him, and Derek frowns in confusion as they both move forward. Bitty mentions that he's hurt, but Derek ignores it. Neil's right; it will heal.

"I was going to tell you," Derek explains, looking from Bitty to Neil and back again. "That's why I asked you to meet me today. I was going to tell you that I'm a werewolf."

Neil reaches for him and Derek takes a step forward, brushing their shoulders together for the contact while he cocks his head slightly at Bitty, brows furrowed. "Did someone already tell you?"

Derek's staring at me, eyes wide and terrified like I'm the monster.

And I can't help feeling that way. I've been meaning to tell him for weeks and I know I should've by now. It'd be so easy to lie and say that Noah told me, to go on pretending that I don't know all that I do. But there's no way the guilt wouldn't eat me up even more and the last thing I want is to go any longer without being honest.

This is not the best time and place, I know. If he's angry enough to leave me out here I don't know what I'll do. And it'd be even worse if he lets his honor and goodness override his anger just to keep me alive.

But I can't lie anymore. I can't.

"No one told me," I say, shaking my head, my hands drawn up tight against my chest. It's been a long time since I've really felt as small as I know I am. "No one had to. I've... I've known for a long time. Since I met you. Since before I met you, actually. You, uhm. There's a show I used to watch a lot back home and you're, uh. You're on it."

"A show? What the fuck are you talking about?" I said, my hand closing around Derek's wrist, and I found myself stepping slightly in front of him. For once crazy moment, I actually thought I might be able to protect him.

But I'd heard of that sort of thing happening before. I'd met superheroes. Demons. Angels. But it hadn't really occurred to me that something like that might apply to Derek, which in hindsight, was pretty fucking stupid. He was a goddamn werewolf, after all.

Bitty is all anxious and wound tight, but he doesn't seem to be afraid. Not of Derek, at least. Derek assumes that someone must have told Bitty what he was, considering how many people in the city know. What he isn't expecting at all is exactly what he gets.

A TV show. Bitty isn't lying and Derek sort of staggers backwards in shock. Neil reaches out to grab him and Derek lets out a breath, staring at Bitty in shock and confusion. It's not like the idea itself is what's so shocking. Derek is friends with Tolkien characters, after all. Harry fucking Potter is here. Superheroes roam the city, so it's not like Derek doesn't know that it's possible. He just never assumed that he would be the fictional one. Who the fuck would want to watch his life story unfold?

That thought makes Derek freeze, because he suddenly has no idea just how much Bitty knows about him. Derek likes to keep parts of himself hidden, and keep his past to himself. There are only a very select few in the city who knows what he's been through. Them-- and now Bitty, apparently.

"So-- you know everything about me," Derek gets out, looking absolutely stricken by the thought. "All this time I thought we were getting to know each other, but you already know all of my goddamn secrets."

He has no idea how to react to this, and he doesn't need it. Not now, not when they're stuck in some fucked up bizzaro Darrow and there's still monster blood congealing on his fingertips.

Neil grabs Derek's wrist, protective and defensive, and they're suddenly both against me, facing me as a united front. And as Derek speaks, the hurt and betrayal so clear in his voice, I know I've never felt more like a monster.

"Not-- not all of them," I offer weakly, my own voice catching. I wish the ground would just swallow me up right now, I wish I could go back in time and tell Derek earlier, I wish I could turn around and back to a park that's sunny and bright and monster-free. I wish so, so much.

Mostly I wish Derek wasn't looking at me like that, but I know it's what I deserve.

"I only know what was aired. It wasn't-- I mean, it's not like I saw every moment of your life from the day you were born. I know a lot of things, probably a lot you'd rather I didn't, but there's no way I could know everything. Derek, I swear I was going to tell you," I insist, not masking the pleading tone of my voice now. "I've been meaning to for weeks and weeks, but I didn't know how. There are a lot of people here I've seen before in movies and stories and TV shows and, for awhile I sorta figured it was just all in my head. The day we met, out on the beach, that's-- I thought you were just part of a coma dream."

I don't mention that it's the only way it made sense to me. I mean, why else would Derek Hale of all people want to talk to me? It's not like that could possibly help right now.

"It wasn't 'til a month or so ago I really sorta came to terms with things. Like this whole alternate dimension stuff. I know I should've said something then. I know. I'm-- Derek, I'm so, so sorry. Please. Please don't hate me."

It's only when I try to swallow that I realize how badly I'm tearing up, the guilt and shame and terror just all wound up inside me. Shaking, I swipe a hand over my eyes and add, "And please don't leave me to here. I mean, I wouldn't blame you if you did. You must feel so, so betrayed, but I have no idea where we are anymore and if another one of those things pops up, there isn't a chance I'll know what to do on my own."

Edited 2015-11-11 01:38 (UTC)

"Christ," I practically growled, when the kid started begging, because I knew without a doubt that Derek wouldn't leave him there. He couldn't leave him, because that's the kind of person Derek was.

I felt sick, because I knew exactly what it was like to meet someone new, to think you had control over how quickly they got to know you, to think you had control over your own secrets and your own life, only to find out that it was all some big fucking joke. I felt sick, and angry, and so goddamn tired, because we never, ever stopped being fucked with. It was never going to stop.

"Can we get off the street, please?" I said sharply, "Then you can have your fucking tearful heart to heart."

Derek stares at Bitty, unsure of what to even think, let alone do, but he can't help but to flinch a little when Bitty begs him not to leave him. Bitty supposedly knows so much about him, but still thinks that Derek might just leave him to fend for himself? That stings most of all, he thinks.

Neil's sharp tone makes Derek blink, and he thinks he understands the bitter sting of anger coming from him. He's protective of Derek, sure, but he also knows how this feels.

"I'm not going to leave you," Derek says, sounding irritated and hurt all at once. He nods at Neil's suggestion and then scrubs his hands over his face as he looks around. "This place looks like Darrow, and it the layout's the same, Dimera is closest. Come on."

He starts stomping his way across the park, boots flattening the dead, useless earth that used to hold lush green grass. He has no idea what's going on and he just had his world rocked on its axis, but the sad thing is that he's sort of used to that particular sensation. His mouth flattens into a thin line and he furrows his brow, cocking his head and pausing whenever he hears a noise, holding his hand out to stop Neil and Bitty before he deigns it safe and gestures forward again.

It takes them awhile, but they get to Dimera without incident. He clears his throat and then opens the lobby door, shoulders drawing up as he hears that slick, slithering noise again. "Get inside. Now."

The look on Derek's face when I beg him not to leave me is worse than the horror I'd seen there moments ago. I can tell he's hurt that I think he'd leave me and I want to tell him it's not that I think he would so much as I'm absolutely terrified right now and I feel horrible and he and Neil are the only two familiar things right now and I just don't want to be alone.

I keep my mouth shut though, swallowing tightly as I nod, glancing briefly over at Neil who looks more angry than hurt before ducking to look down at my feet. The ground is completely covered in a layer of ash. It almost looks like snow. And I follow them, staying half a step behind the whole way, guilt and fear making a complete mess of my insides.

When we get to the apartment building, I hurry inside, fear spiking at both the noise we hear and the pitch of Derek's voice. My heart is pounding, a million beats a minute and I grimace.

"The elevator's broken," I tell them both, my voice little more than a whisper. I'm honestly not sure I'd want to risk stepping into an elevator here anyway.

"I'm just one floor up. We'll take the stairs," I said, already shouldering past them so I could push open the stairwell door. It was heavy, the hinges squeaking against what seemed like years of rust.

The stairwell was pitch black and I was hit immediately with the heavy smell of damp and still air. I glanced over my shoulder at Derek, because I knew he'd one to go through first.

Derek goes ahead of Neil, eyes glowing bright red in the darkness. He can see while they can't, and he listens hard to make sure that the stairwell is clear. "Follow me. Go slow and hang onto the railing."

It's slow going, and while they move it gives Derek time to think. The guilt and fear rolling off of Bitty sits thick in Derek's nose, and it makes his mouth twist. Derek has felt betrayal, time and time again, and this doesn't feel like that. Derek knows people that were fictional back where he's from, and he hasn't told them. How is that any different?

He isn't angry at Bitty. Maybe it's because he's too freaked out by this place they've found themselves in, or his world has been rocked too hard by the knowledge that in some other world, people watched his life unfold. He doesn't know. But he knows that Bitty meant him no harm. It's just a shitty situation.

"All that time I wasted pretending to be human," Derek finally says, but he doesn't sound angry. He sounds almost amused, despite everything. "I totally could have saved that pie that slid off of the counter."

It's his way of telling Bitty that it will be okay for now, and not to worry about that. There are far bigger things to worry about now, anyway. They make it to the top of the stairs and Derek checks the hallway before urging them forward. He touches Neil's shoulder as he passes and then Bitty's, squeezing a little before letting go and bringing up the rear. Once they reach Neil's apartment, he takes the keys and opens the door, looking around with red eyes to make sure it's clear before letting them in and locking the door.

It's easy to just follow their directions, ducking into the stairwell after Neil pulls open the door, cringing against the smell as we make our way up. It really feels like we've just stepped into some awful horror movie, nearly every sound making me jump.

At the top of the first flighty, Derek turns back and I feel my stomach plummet again for a second when he looks at me. His tone doesn't sound angry though, almost sounds teasing when he mentions the pie I'd accidentally knocked off the counter at Semele's last week.

Still, it's only when he squeezes my shoulder as I pass him that I feel some of my anxiety settle. He still has every right to be angry, of course, but the idea that he might be able to forgive me is an enormous relief. Especially since there's no way I'm going to be able to leave his side for awhile. Not with things like this.

I've never been to Neil's apartment before, but I follow them to what must be the door, scurrying inside once it's unlocked and then immediately letting out a breath.

At least until I see something move out the corner of my eye.

My apartment didn't feel like my apartment. The furniture was in all the right places, but there was a layer of dust on everything. The coffee cup I'd left out on the table was gone. The stack of magazines on my kitchen table wasn't there. I was afraid to check what was in the fridge.

Over the desk, I'd hung a cork board, and on it, I'd tacked pictures. Ticket stubs. Things cut from magazines. It was all still there, but the faces in the pictures were eerily blurred. There was one of Derek, sitting outside The Bite. I'd snapped with my cell phone and printed on a shitty library printer, but it was faded and almost unrecognizable.

Nothing about the place seemed real or like it was mine. I kept thinking I saw things move, but only when I wasn't looking directly at them. Maybe the shadows themselves were alive.

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dust to dust (dated 10/27, closed to neil and bitty)

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