Neil grabs Derek's wrist, protective and defensive, and they're suddenly both against me, facing me as a united front. And as Derek speaks, the hurt and betrayal so clear in his voice, I know I've never felt more like a monster.
"Not-- not all of them," I offer weakly, my own voice catching. I wish the ground would just swallow me up right now, I wish I could go back in time and tell Derek earlier, I wish I could turn around and back to a park that's sunny and bright and monster-free. I wish so, so much.
Mostly I wish Derek wasn't looking at me like that, but I know it's what I deserve.
"I only know what was aired. It wasn't-- I mean, it's not like I saw every moment of your life from the day you were born. I know a lot of things, probably a lot you'd rather I didn't, but there's no way I could know everything. Derek, I swear I was going to tell you," I insist, not masking the pleading tone of my voice now. "I've been meaning to for weeks and weeks, but I didn't know how. There are a lot of people here I've seen before in movies and stories and TV shows and, for awhile I sorta figured it was just all in my head. The day we met, out on the beach, that's-- I thought you were just part of a coma dream."
I don't mention that it's the only way it made sense to me. I mean, why else would Derek Hale of all people want to talk to me? It's not like that could possibly help right now.
"It wasn't 'til a month or so ago I really sorta came to terms with things. Like this whole alternate dimension stuff. I know I should've said something then. I know. I'm-- Derek, I'm so, so sorry. Please. Please don't hate me."
It's only when I try to swallow that I realize how badly I'm tearing up, the guilt and shame and terror just all wound up inside me. Shaking, I swipe a hand over my eyes and add, "And please don't leave me to here. I mean, I wouldn't blame you if you did. You must feel so, so betrayed, but I have no idea where we are anymore and if another one of those things pops up, there isn't a chance I'll know what to do on my own."
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"Not-- not all of them," I offer weakly, my own voice catching. I wish the ground would just swallow me up right now, I wish I could go back in time and tell Derek earlier, I wish I could turn around and back to a park that's sunny and bright and monster-free. I wish so, so much.
Mostly I wish Derek wasn't looking at me like that, but I know it's what I deserve.
"I only know what was aired. It wasn't-- I mean, it's not like I saw every moment of your life from the day you were born. I know a lot of things, probably a lot you'd rather I didn't, but there's no way I could know everything. Derek, I swear I was going to tell you," I insist, not masking the pleading tone of my voice now. "I've been meaning to for weeks and weeks, but I didn't know how. There are a lot of people here I've seen before in movies and stories and TV shows and, for awhile I sorta figured it was just all in my head. The day we met, out on the beach, that's-- I thought you were just part of a coma dream."
I don't mention that it's the only way it made sense to me. I mean, why else would Derek Hale of all people want to talk to me? It's not like that could possibly help right now.
"It wasn't 'til a month or so ago I really sorta came to terms with things. Like this whole alternate dimension stuff. I know I should've said something then. I know. I'm-- Derek, I'm so, so sorry. Please. Please don't hate me."
It's only when I try to swallow that I realize how badly I'm tearing up, the guilt and shame and terror just all wound up inside me. Shaking, I swipe a hand over my eyes and add, "And please don't leave me to here. I mean, I wouldn't blame you if you did. You must feel so, so betrayed, but I have no idea where we are anymore and if another one of those things pops up, there isn't a chance I'll know what to do on my own."