triskehale | [for thomas]

Entry tags:

thomas

[for thomas]

It's been nearly two weeks since they returned from that other Darrow, and Derek is beginning to settle back down. The things he saw there still haunt him, and keep him up at night, but he's almost to a point where he can ignore the memories. Derek has seen many, many terrible things, and he knows that he just has to keep on going.

He knows that everyone has been struggling, and it's his friends that have been helping to get him through it. Derek is trying to help however he can, and that's why he laces up his running shoes one morning and heads to Thomas' with a hoodie over his track pants and fitted t-shirt. Winter is drawing near, and Derek can see his breath while he walks. There's a calm sort of stillness to the city, one that only seems to come with cold, crisp mornings.

After stopping to get two coffees and breakfast sandwiches, he heads to Thomas' building and knocks on the door, listening hard as he waits for it to open. Thomas saw some horrible things, and Derek wants to make sure that he's doing okay. Feeding him and dragging him out for a long run should hopefully be a good start.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

"Right, the cat," Derek says with a laugh. "I forgot you like her more than me."

They're deep in the woods now, where the sounds of the city are muffled by the depth of the trees. It's silent except for the occasional chirp of a bird and the sounds that they're making; their heartbeats, and their harsh breathing. The sound of their footsteps hitting the hard-packed earth. Derek likes it more than he probably should.

"I told you that I'd show you the snow when it comes," Derek says, pulling ahead a little bit. He realizes that Thomas doesn't need Derek to show him the snow. One day he'll wake up and it'll just be there, and Derek isn't sure why he wants to see the look on Thomas' face the first time that he sees it so badly. He just does. "If you want."

"I've seen snow," Thomas said but didn't elaborate for a few seconds, letting himself run quietly and soak up the smell of the trees, the feel of the dirt and the brisk breeze that blew through his hair and turned his cheeks pink.

"In pictures," he finally added, rubbing his arm across his brow again. "Too hot for snow back home. The sun's not gonna cool down for awhile, I think. If it ever does. I guess we're lucky enough that the radiation's died off a bit so people can manage to live longer than a week there, if they're prepared."

"Oh," Derek says quietly, frowning at Thomas' words. His world sounds like such a terrible place, and Derek can't help to be selfishly glad that Thomas is here. At least here, Thomas can enjoy the sunshine.

"Then I suppose you don't need me to show you," Derek replies, feeling a little stupid about it. He picks up speed and rounds the bend, skidding to a halt when he sees a doe and a fawn in their path. They freeze and stare at him for a long moment, as deers are wont to do, before they finally tear off into the brush.

"Derek, it was a shucking joke," Thomas shouted, watching him pull away and having to work to catch up to him. He almost barreled into his back when he realized Derek had come to a sudden stop.

It took him a second to realize why and then he watched, wide eyed, as the deer bolt away.

"Guess we scared them," Thomas remarked, glancing over at Derek before he started jogging again.

"You scared them with all your yelling," Derek remarks, trying to move past the awkward moment. He darts forward and tugs on the back of Thomas' shirt, pressing his knuckles lightly to the small of Thomas' back before sidling up next to him. "I'll show up with hot chocolate when it snows, okay?"

The touch made Thomas shiver, warm and unexpected. He stopped running and looked back at Derek, one eyebrow cocked and slight smirk on his face.

"I think you'd die if you ever showed up at my apartment without food or a drink," he teased. "You're just lucky that I appreciate it and I do eat and drink everything you bring even if I don't do it right in front of you."

Derek stops as well, letting out an amused chuckle and smiling wryly as he smooths Thomas' shirt back down. The look on Thomas' face makes him raise an amused eyebrow right back at him, just on reflex.

"So I like making sure that you're okay," Derek says, squeezing Thomas' hip and shrugging one shoulder as he lets go. He lifts his gaze to meet Thomas' eyes and laughs a little. "Sue me."

"I would if I could," Thomas joked, reaching over and giving Derek's shoulder a playful shove. He sobered pretty quickly though and smiled.

"I appreciate it though, I do," he promised quietly. "Even if I don't eat it right there, I do appreciate it and thanks for thinking of me and trying to make sure I'm okay. You're doing a good job. I'm good. I'm doing okay."

"All you'd get is a bar and a cat," Derek jokes back, smiling and flashing his red eyes playfully when Thomas shoves at him. But then Thomas keeps speaking and Derek's expression sobers, cheeks flushing a light pink at the praise. It means a lot for Derek to know that he's appreciated, and those words, you're doing a good job, make him feel sort of warm all over.

"Good," Derek says after a moment, swaying in a bit closer. He laughs softly, mostly at himself, and gives Thomas a little shrug. "I probably won't stop, but I'm glad you're doing okay."

"I'm doing just fine," Thomas promised with another little grin. He reached over and curved his hand around Derek's shoulder, giving it a squeeze. "You've helped me a lot. You've also run me ragged and made me scare off deer but you've helped me a lot and you're important. To me. To a lot of people but to me too."

Words sometimes came slowly to Thomas, came after the fact when saying them wouldn't make sense but when he had something to say, he was trying to say it now. He knew Derek had heard some horrible stuff in the other city and Thomas wanted to make sure he knew what he'd heard wasn't true. At all.

Edited 2015-12-09 20:58 (UTC)

"You like being run ragged," Derek shoots back, swallowing hard as Thomas' long fingers curl around his shoulder. For someone who is so desperately in need of praise, Derek sure has a hard time knowing what to do with it. His cheeks go pink and he gives Thomas a small, genuine smile. He leans forward a bit, feeling the urge to press their foreheads together like in that other Darrow, when Thomas had helped him feel so safe and calm, but he manages to resist.

"I'm glad. You mean lot to me too," Derek says, voice low. He's truly appreciative because he knows that words aren't easy for Thomas, just like they aren't for him. Thomas wouldn't sugarcoat things, or offer meaningless platitudes, and his heart remains steady.

"It's funny," Derek continues, huffing out a breath. "I can hear that you aren't lying. Why is it so hard to believe things when they're good?"

"It's hard to believe things about yourself when you've thought something else for a long time," Thomas guessed. Even though his memories weren't all there and he couldn't remember most of his life, what he could remember about himself wasn't good. It was easier to wallow in the self loathing than to believe you were good and made good decisions.

"It's easier for me to tell you how much of a good guy you are then for me to believe it about myself," he said with a shrug. "I think it's just how it works. If you can't believe it about yourself, that's okay. You're still a good guy. I know it. So do other people."

"If I'm a good guy, you are too," Derek assures him. He knows that they can go in this circle for hours. Derek can say nice things about Thomas until he turns blue, but have a hard time believing the same things about himself. They've both been through so much, and they're both so broken, but at least they're helping to put the little pieces back together, no matter how long it takes.

He just leans in to press their foreheads together for a brief moment before pulling away and smiling at him. He nods and then turns to look over his shoulder, gesturing for Thomas to follow. "Come on, we're close to the water."

Thomas jogged after him, smiling slightly as he did. Once he got up to Derek, he fell into a walk, stretching his arms over his head and rolling his shoulders to ease the burn that had formed during their run.

"I'm still not gonna swim," he reiterated with a shake of his head. "Too cold and I don't have your ability to be a human shucking furnace even when it's winter outside. Cold water's either gonna turn me into an ice cube or make me sick."

"Hey, I was never planning on us swimming," Derek says with a laugh. He breaks through the trees and onto the sand, taking in a deep breath of sea air as he slows to a halt. "I'm putting you to work later, man. That leaves no time for me warming you up."

He waits for Thomas to catch up before looking over at him with a small smile. "It's a nice view, though."

When Thomas broke through, the smell of salt and the cool breeze hit him, making him both shiver and smile. The perspiration cooling on his forehead and arms chilled and he rubbed his arms as he jogged to a stop by next to Derek.

"It's not bad, yeah," he agreed, glancing over at Derek and meeting his smile with a grin of his own. "This is one of those things I didn't think I'd ever see again when I was in the Scorch. Everything was so dry and parched. I don't even know if our oceans survived. The sun just took over and if there's water, I doubt it's much and I doubt it's like this."

"It sounds horrible. I can't even imagine it," Derek says sympathetically, trying to picture a dry, scorched earth. "I've always been near an ocean. The Pacific or the Atlantic, and now whatever this one is."

Derek goes over to pull himself up onto a rock, the same one they laid out on after that first swim, and looks at Thomas curiously. "I know you're worried about your friends, but do you think it's better here? Even after everything?"

Sometimes Derek feels bad for preferring Darrow over his home, because things are better here for him. He feels like he should be wanting to escape, just like everyone else, but he doesn't. Not really.

"I've always thought this place was better from a quality of life standpoint," Thomas said, reaching down and dragging his fingers through the sand. He wrote his name and then stroked it away before drawing a ridiculous looking stick figure.

"Going back has never been about going somewhere better. It's always been about my friends and making sure they were alive and that WICKED didn't keep killing people," he said, sighing. "This place is better. If I had my way, I'd bring all my friends here instead of going back there."

"I get that," Derek tells him. He gets wanting to go back and help, at least. He doesn't really have any friends back home, not really. They're all Scott's friends. Hell, Scott is here in Darrow and they still aren't even close. He sighs and then looks up at Thomas again, giving him a reassuring smile. "You got one of them. Maybe the rest will follow."

"Maybe," Thomas said, sighing. He'd love to see Alby and Frypan again but the Glader he'd most want to see would be Chuck. The only thing was he didn't know if he could handle seeing Chuck either, knowing what happened. He didn't know how he'd be able to not break down in tears every single time he laid eyes on Chuck.

"Getting Newt was good for right now," he said, glancing over at Derek. "I didn't expect anyone. I'm good for now."

For a moment, Thomas just smells of pure and simple grief. It's strong enough that Derek looks over at him in concern, but he doesn't ask about it. Thomas may be thinking about someone he lost, and Derek doesn't want to dredge that up.

Sometimes Derek wonders if maybe his sister might show up, or any of his family. Anything is possible, he assumes, but he doesn't dare let himself hope. If he started to hope for that, it's all that he would ever do.

They stay there in an easy, comfortable silence for awhile, staring out at the ocean as the cool, salty air stings their skin. Derek looks over and reaches out to pat Thomas' chest with the back of his hand. "Ready to head towards Semele's? I was thinking we might go fast this time."

He gives Thomas a teasing smirk, eyes bright as the wind whips through his hair.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[for thomas]

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject