triskehale | thanksgiving is, after all, a word of action [set on 11/26]

thanksgiving is, after all, a word of action [set on 11/26]

Thanksgivings in the Hale house used to be quite the big deal. Feeding over a dozen werewolves, many of them teenagers was no easy feat. Derek loved all the chaos, and he helped out in the kitchen since he was old enough to stand on a step stool and reach the counter.

The first year after everyone died, he and Laura each got a rotisserie chicken and some biscuits, trying to hang on to some semblance of tradition, but the food tasted like ash. Laura went to bed early, and Derek pretended not to hear her cry. They stopped trying to do anything for the holiday after that.

It's been almost a decade since that disastrous attempt, and a few months ago Derek decided that he wanted to try again. While Laura and the rest of his family will always be the cause of this gnawing ache in his heart, Derek has a new family here in Darrow. He has so many people that matter to him, and care about him. It's more than Derek deserves, or ever thought that he would get, but he's grateful. He's thankful.

So he decides that he's going to do his best to put on a Thanksgiving of his own, and invite his new ragtag sort of pack. His new family.

The invitations go out and on the big day, Derek arrives at Semele's just after dawn. He puts two giant turkeys in the oven and quickly sets up the long table and chairs in the middle of the bar. With each chair he places, Derek marvels over just how many people he has in his life. It's astounding to him, and it's the perfect day to show his gratitude.

And then, all that's left to do is cook. And cook, and cook some more. If he's lucky, he'll have time to go shower and put on something nice before all his guests arrive.

[Hale pack Thanksgiving! Treat this as a gathering post. Tag in, tag around, give thanks! ♥]

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There are already so many familiar faces around the dinner table, but when I see Kate's among them, I can't help but smile and give her a wave before heading over. We haven't spoken much at all and I haven't seen her since Diwali, but the little time I've spent with her, I've enjoyed. And, as a friend of Derek's, I know she's good people.

Plus, she has excellent taste in clothing if absolutely nothing else.

"I'm so glad you could make it!" I tell her when I'm near enough to set my plate down. "Do you mind if I sit with you for a bit or is this seat taken?"

"It was taken by my hot ass husband, but since I'm like, ninety percent sure he's just left me to wed one of your pies, I guess you can sit," Kate answers with a bright smile. He's totally cute and usually not the sort of person she can stand for longer than like, ten seconds, but he's actually not annoying with how adorable he is.

Some of that has to do with the moon eyes he and Derek make at each other, she's sure, but maybe she's just not such a bitch anymore. Maybe she can actually appreciate other people for what they are instead of just judging pretty much every person who crosses her path. It's kind of nice to think she might be growing up a bit.

"Oh, that's Newt, right? I still need to meet him!" I say, glancing back toward the dessert table. I haven't met him officially but I've seen him and Kate together talking with a few other people at the dinner. I make a mental note to introduce myself before the feast is over.

Still grinning, I take the seat next to her and glance down at her plate. "The food's great, isn't it? I don't think I've had a turkey so good in all my life! Have you had any pie yourself yet? I can run and get you a slice if you'd like!"

"It's like you want me to explode," Kate says with a groan as she kicks her feet a little. "Just make sure you take responsibility for it when Derek has to pick little bits of Kate off the walls of his bar. He won't be impressed, you know, and I'm thinking you're probably trying to do your best to impress him."

She grins suddenly, looking over at him with a sly expression. "Are you trying to do your best to impress him?" She really doesn't know much of anything about Eric, how old he is, what he likes, where he's even from, but she knows it looks like Derek likes him and as far as she's concerned, that's good enough.

I grin as she speaks, delighting in her way with words before my smile gets a little bit stuck and I feel my cheeks flush red.

I want so badly to be able to deny it, embarrassment sweeping through every part of me, and I dart a quick glance over at Derek to make sure he's not paying attention. He could overhear, I know, with that super hearing of his. But he looks to be deep in conversation with Dean and Castiel, at least.

With a sigh, I turn back to Kate. "I really like baking," I tell her, assuming she's mostly referencing the pies. "I would've done it for any friend of mine who asked, but..." I trail off, lips twisting into a grimace as I shrug. Because Derek's different and I know Kate can tell. "I-- I do. I kinda always do. Please don't tell him."

"Oh my god," she practically groans, throwing her head back against her chair. This is something she doesn't get, not even a little. There's such a limited amount of time people have in this world, whether they go back where they came from or they die or whatever and she really thinks people should just seize whatever potential happiness is in front of them and go for it. Whatever it might be, so long as it's nothing awful like kicking puppies or throwing babies off bridges.

"Why not?" she asks, lifting her head again. "I mean, come on. 'Oh, Eric, what colour are my eyes? Are they green today? Please stare deeply into them and tell me and I swear this is totally platonic gazing.' Please. After that display, I'm pretty sure the two of you should be like, snuggling in the corner or something."

My eyes widen as Kate theatrically drops her head back with a heavy groan. Again, I dart a glance over at Derek, praying he's not looking our way. He isn't, thankfully, and I frown down at my hands again, more and more mortified by the second.

My lips twist into a grimace and I shrug. "It's not really like that," I tell her, hating how pathetic I probably seem to her. "I mean, we. There was some of what you may consider cuddling when we were in that other Darrow and some when we got back because I was too much of a wuss to sleep in my own for awhile and, I'll admit, I may have seized an opportunity while it was available. But he wasn't-- That's not how he sees me." Frowning, I look over at him again for a second before letting out a sigh. "I mean, look at him. He's lightyears outta my league. I'm just some dumb kid he hired to make pies for his bar and force him to smile every once in awhile."

Kate just stares at him for a second, her eyebrow arched before she laughs out of surprise more than anything. "My god, boys are so dumb," she says, shaking her head, because if Derek had looked at her the way he was looking at Eric in the store, she would have been absolutely certain he was into her. The first day she'd met Newt, she'd known he liked her based on less than that.

"Okay, so first, I really don't hold with that hold out of my league bullshit, so don't even start with that," she says. "Although I'm sure you and Derek could have a very long, very cyclical conversation about who is out of whose league. Second, I know Derek. I know Derek like, really well. You can say it's not like that, but I'm saying, as someone who considers that stupid, gooey centered werewolf family, you don't know that. Trust me."

Despite how certain Kate seems, I'm certain there's no way Derek looks at me and thinks I'm in any way out of his league. He could have just about anyone in this city he could ever want; there isn't a chance he'd pick me.

I have a feeling arguing that point with Kate will be fruitless though so instead, I ask, "How are you so sure?" And I tell myself it's not because I'll ever stand a chance with Derek myself, but more that I want him to be happy. After everything I witnessed in that other Darrow, I want that now more than ever. "He's... I know he has physical relationships with other people, but he's never... That's not something he's ever wanted from me. Not that I'd have any clue how to even..." I trail off when I feel a mortifying flush heat my cheeks and shake my head. "I really don't think I'm what he wants. How could I be?"

At this moment, Kate's just really glad Newt hadn't been this seriously obtuse. Or maybe he would have been and she just hadn't given him the chance to doubt her intentions, which is fine, but she's pretty sure all this dancing around feelings would have driven her totally up the wall. Not that she's annoyed by any of this, really, it's totally not her place to be annoyed by it, but she also doesn't understand how he doesn't get it. That's fine, too, though. She's just going to shove him in the right direction.

"Do you know Derek? Like, at all?" she asks. "Yeah, so he's had physical relationships with other people, but that's just fucking. Tab B in Slot B, lather, rinse, repeat. I mean, don't get me wrong, fucking is awesome, but if you think for a second that's all Derek wants out of life, then you're crazy. How could you be what he wants? Answer me one simple question and that'll be the only answer you'll ever need. Do you care about him?"

I can feel my face going hot as I try desperately not to think about Derek's Tab B and then even hotter at her question. It still feels so embarrassing to answer and I keep my head ducked, frowning down at my hands before I nod.

"It's stupid," I tell her, grimacing when I look up to meet her eyes again. "I've never. It's stupid but I think..."

With a sigh, I shake my head. This isn't something I can or should share with Kate. Plus, I have the feeling she already knows and I don't need to feel any more embarrassed than I do already. So instead I swallow and shake my head. "I do. I just... I want him to be happy. Especially after everything we saw a few weeks ago, all those terrible things we saw. He... he deserves to be happy."

"Oh, whatever, that's not even a thing to worry about," Kate says, waving her hand. "My last serious boyfriend before Newt was a virgin when we started dating and I was certainly not and it was still freaking awesome, so whatever, that's... that's just whatever."

Reggie had been a virgin, too, and Kate wonders for a second if that's some kind of kink she has without even realizing it. She'd never actually taken Reggie's v-card, but she's pretty sure if she'd stayed on the island, she would have.

"So you care about him and you want him to be happy. That's all that matters," she says honestly. "I mean, it helps that you're cute as fuck, but that's not what Derek cares about. He just wants someone who cares, man."

It's not the first time I've heard someone describe me as cute (not even the first time with as fuck tacked onto the end thanks to Shitty) and it's never really bothered me before. As nice as Kate means to be though, I know cute isn't really going to get me far with someone who looks like Derek. Not when it comes to something like this.

"I'm not gonna stop caring about him even if he doesn't wanna be with me," I point out, still frowning down at my hands. "And he cares about me, too. I know he does. He really is the only reason I'm alive right now so I know... I know he cares. It's stupid to want more. Selfish. And it's not like-- I mean, I have a date on Saturday with a really nice, really cute guy and I want to like him the way I do Derek. I really, really do."

Kate briefly wonders if it's against Thanksgiving Day policy to smash peoples' heads together.

"Why is it stupid or selfish to want more?" she asks, totally baffled by that. "And why would you go out with a guy you want to like the way you like Derek if you don't like him that way?" She sort of wants to shake him and shout at him to take a risk, but she thinks that's probably against Thanksgiving Day etiquette, too.

"Look, as someone who knows him pretty well, I'm telling you he doesn't look at everyone the way he looked at you when we were shopping that day," she says. "That's all. I'll leave it now." Because meddling is kind of exhausting.

"I think I could like him, though," I argue, my stomach sinking. Why do I feel so defensive? "I mean, he's at least shown an interest. Derek's... Derek has other people and I'm pretty sure he already has everything he wants from me. I don't-- I can't risk messing up what friendship I already have with him. I mean, I'm his employee now, too. Full-time even in about a week. What if it got so weird that I couldn't even keep working here?"

Even with all my protests, I still get a little hung up on her claim that Derek looked at me different at the store. I'm not sure how true it is or if she's just saying it to be nice or just saying it because... I don't know. I don't know. I still remember Derek asking me to look into his eyes that day and how easy it is to just be around him all the time, but that doesn't really mean anything. Not to him.

Frowning, I stare down at my hands again and shrug. "I'm terrible at this," I confess. "And goodness, this has to be just about the last thing you want to talk about on Thanksgiving. I'm so sorry."

"Dude, I brought it up. What are you sorry for?" She's not even sorry she'd brought it up, because he's protesting a lot, but she's still glad she said something. Maybe he thinks Derek is just looking to get laid, but Kate knows for a fact that isn't true at all, she knows he's looking for something more and that the people he's sleeping with -- or has been anyway, it's not like she's keeping track -- aren't looking for relationships from him either.

Pretty much everything he says about Derek having other people doesn't at all fall in line with what Kate knows of him, but she can only meddle face to face so much. Even she has limits. Sometimes.

"And whatever, at least no one has thrown the turkey or turned into someone else or flashed everyone here," she points out brightly. "So in terms of family holidays, this is all actually pretty tame."

I'm sorry because it seems like a hopeless topic and certainly not a good discussion for Thanksgiving, a day where we're meant to be grateful for all the we have, not sad about those we don't. I have no idea what it is Kate thinks she sees, but I know it's not the truth. Not all of it. I don't doubt that Derek cares about me. He's called me pack, he's treated me like pack, he's forgiven me for lying and offered me what is essentially my dream job. He's let me get close.

But I can't take any of that to mean I'm anything all that special. Not when he has so many other people who care about him just as much as I do and can offer him so many things than I can't. This entire room is full of people who love him and every single one of them has some amazing, incredible ability or is stunningly beautiful, or both.

All I can do is bake a few pies.

It's pointless to say any of that though and I really do want to try my hardest not to dwell on any of this stuff, so I try my hardest for a smile and shake my head.

And then blink.

"Turned into someone else? What? That's happened?"

"At my family dinners? Uh, yeah, it's happened," she answers, figuring everyone else pretty much knows already, so why not one more person. It's not like it hurts her anymore, thinking about her mom, and even though people know about it, it's easier than it was back home. Tara isn't here, so no one ever looks at Kate like that crazy woman's daughter and even if Tara does ever show up, Kate was here first. She's got some kind of claim on the place and the people in it and if Tara shows up here eventually, she's going to be known at Kate's crazy mom, not the other way around.

"My mom has Dissociative Identity Disorder," she says. "Used to be Multiple Personalities Disorder, that's probably what you've heard it referred to as. So when I say someone would turn into other people, I mean it. Mostly she'd be herself, but family dinners are stressful, right? Especially with grandparents like mine, they were total dicks, so mostly my mom was my mom, but sometimes she was Buck or T or Alice."

"Oh, wow."

For a moment, I have absolutely no idea how to respond. I've definitely heard of the disorder before, but I've never known anyone who's had to deal with it any way. It's always been one of those things I've heard about or seen in movies, but just couldn't conceive as real.

Which is terrible, I know. If there's one thing Darrow has taught me it's just how sheltered I've been all my life.

"That sounds... uhm. I don't know. Confusing? I can't even imagine how that would work. Would you have to cook for any one of those who might show up?"

"What? No, fuck those guys. If they didn't want to eat what was already prepared, they could make their own shit," she says, flapping her hand dismissively. The alters had been part of the family and therefore they hadn't gotten any sort of special treatment.

"It really wasn't that big a deal," she says honestly. "I mean, yeah, it sucked sometimes that my mom was crazy, but mostly because other kids are assholes and they like to make fun of shit they don't understand. But when it came to my actual mom and the alters... I don't know, it wasn't so bad. Some of the alters were pretty cool. T was fifteen, so when I was like, twelve to sixteen myself, she was the best. After that she got to be sort of a pain in my ass and I did always sort of hate how she squeezed her mom butt into my skinny jeans and stretched the shit out of them."

It's impossible not to smile at the easy way Kate talks about it and I can only hope she doesn't think it's rude when I start laughing. I do my best to cover it up, my mind whirling with so many questions, most of which are probably pretty invasive.

"Sorry, it's just... this isn't something I could ever even imagine myself, but you make it sound, I don't know. Normal? How many alters does you mom have? Just a few?"

"Oh, shit, at last count..." She pauses, trying to gather them all in her head. "Okay, there was Alice, Buck and T, they were the primary three I lived with for most of my life, but in the past few years there was also Gimme, Chicken, Shoshana and Bryce. So seven besides my mom last I heard."

Bryce is the worst. She never wants to talk about Bryce. The others are harmless, even if some of them are more annoying than others, but Bryce terrified her. The way he'd looked at her, the talk of the abuse, the way he'd physically assaulted Marshall. Her mother's own abuser as one of her alters is definitely the worst things ever got and Kate prefers to gloss right over him entirely.

Goodness, seven. I know it probably doesn't work the way I imagine, but that seems like an awful lot of voices to carry around in one head. But it's obvious Kate still deeply cares for her mother and, not for the first time, I wonder how people like her, the ones that have been stuck here for years and years handle not ever getting to see their families. I've only been here three months and sometimes I miss my parents so much it's suffocating.

"Gimme and Chicken?" I ask, focusing on that instead. "Were they all at least sorta nice? And did your mom... I mean, she knew about them, right? Could she remember anything her alters did? Not that you have to tell me anything!" I rush to add. "I'm sorry if I'm asking anything too personal. I've just. I'm curious. But you don't have to answer anything you don't want to - I totally understand."

"Oh, dude, it's fine," Kate says, waving her hand. She has absolutely no problem answering questions about her mom's disorder, mostly because she'd rather people ask than just make assumptions about the whole thing. "She knew about them, yeah, but she didn't remember what happened when they took over. She would black out mostly. That's how she got diagnosed in the first place, she was losing time in college and she didn't know why."

At the question about the alters being nice, Kate smirks a little and says, "I don't know if they were all nice. I sort of hated Alice, she was a bitch, but I loved T and Buck. Gimme and Chicken were annoying, because they were like... my mom's baser instincts. Gimme was like, this gibbering idiot and Chicken was six. Shoshana was a psychiatrist. Yeah, my mom had a psychiatrist alter and she was always up in everyone's business. She tried to profile me all the time, I sort of hated it, but she helped my mom, so I guess she wasn't all bad."

And she doesn't mention Bryce. The less said about him, the better.

My eyes widen at the realization that Kate's mom had been suffering since college. I can't help but wonder what caused it and how scared she must've been to realize she was blacking out, missing points in her life she couldn't remember. Again, it's nothing I can really imagine considering I've never felt anything like it. How does a person even begin to cope with something like that?

"This is... my gosh, this is fascinating," I tell her and as soon as the words are out, I cringe. "Sorry, that sounds so rude! I'm just. I can't imagine how... how anything. How are brains can be capable of something like that. Does she... I mean, is your mom happy? I bet she's sure happy to have had you around at the very least. Goodness, can you imagine going through something like that all on your own?"

thanksgiving is, after all, a word of action [set on 11/26]

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