[for thomas]

[triskehale]

It's been nearly two weeks since they returned from that other Darrow, and Derek is beginning to settle back down. The things he saw there still haunt him, and keep him up at night, but he's almost to a point where he can ignore the memories. Derek has seen many, many terrible things, and he knows that he just has to keep on going.

He knows that everyone has been struggling, and it's his friends that have been helping to get him through it. Derek is trying to help however he can, and that's why he laces up his running shoes one morning and heads to Thomas' with a hoodie over his track pants and fitted t-shirt. Winter is drawing near, and Derek can see his breath while he walks. There's a calm sort of stillness to the city, one that only seems to come with cold, crisp mornings.

After stopping to get two coffees and breakfast sandwiches, he heads to Thomas' building and knocks on the door, listening hard as he waits for it to open. Thomas saw some horrible things, and Derek wants to make sure that he's doing okay. Feeding him and dragging him out for a long run should hopefully be a good start.

Comments

[shuck_you]

Thomas should have expected something like that but he hadn't. He hadn't expected Derek to take off before he'd been completely ready so he was left lagging behind, keeping up and keeping Derek's back in his sights and managing to stay close. He was running hard but his lungs didn't burn and his legs pumped quick and fast, pounding the ground and sending him closer.

"Never took you for a cheater!" Thomas called back, ducking under a branch and stepping around a few rocks and fallen logs while keeping pace as best he could.

[triskehale]

"You told me to start us off!" Derek called back, laughing into the wind. "Is this not what you meant?"

He can hear Thomas closing the distance between them, heart beating fast as breath leaves his lungs in quick little punches. Derek has never encountered a human that can run like Thomas can, so fast and steady all at once. It's sort of amazing to witness.

Derek slows his pace enough for Thomas to catch up to him, but they're still running fast, and they move together easily through the trees. It's fun, and the trash talk isn't too bad either.

"Oh, glad to see you could make it," Derek teases once he can spot Thomas out of the corner of his eye. "Enjoy the view back there?"

[shuck_you]

"Wasn't that bad," Thomas said once he'd pulled even and settled his pace out to something that wasn't so heart pumping and so immediately at a faster pace then he'd be prepared for. Running like this was easy for him. It was like the Maze all over again save for the twists and turns the Maze threw at him and Minho.

"Saw some nice trees, some good rocks, a few spots of dirt," he joked, rubbing a forearm across his hair and loosening his stance and posture to be more comfortable as they ran.

[triskehale]

Derek laughs at that, tossing his head back with the force of it. He turns to look at Thomas with a smirk, reaching out to jab him lightly with his elbow. "Must have been some damn nice rocks."

They settle into something steady, and Derek lets his breathing fall into sync with Thomas' as their shoes hit the dirt, kicking dust up behind him as they run. The sun shines down through the trees, dappling the trail with bright patches of warmth. It's peaceful out here, nearly silent except for the birds and the critters, their breathing, and the steady beating of their hearts, loud and healthy.

"I like it out here," Derek says, but he's sure that Thomas already knows.

[shuck_you]

"I'm not surprised," Thomas said, closing his eyes and feeling the warmth of the sun beating down on his face and shoulders. It was still a wonder to live under a sun that wasn't actively trying to kill you. It'd taken time for Thomas to really trust the sensation but now that he did, he couldn't get enough.

"You'd live outside if you could, I bet," he remarked with a laugh. "Since you probably like your bed, you do the second best thing and live in the woods in a cool house. Probably keeps the noise down."

[triskehale]

"I did for a few months for the most part, this time last year," Derek tells him. It seems like so long ago now that he'd just had enough heartbreak to send him out into the woods. "I mean, I came out to work."

That was a dark time for him, but he had found a sort of peace in it. Things like that are easier to handle as a wolf. But it couldn't have lasted forever. Derek didn't want it to. He just needed the time.

"I love my bed," Derek corrects with a laugh. "But yeah, apartment life isn't for me. Too much noise, too many smells. So when I found that old hunting cabin, I decided to fix it up."

[shuck_you]

"Does your apartment still actually belong to you?" asked Thomas, jogging along easily now that the pace had slowed and evened out. He could feel the slight burn in his legs, could hear his heart pounding in his ears and he loved it, treasured that feeling.

"Do you keep anything there?" he wondered. "Like is it some secret workshop or a place where you keep all your extra leather jackets?"

He shot Derek a smirk at that because it wasn't something he really believed. But, Derek did have all that room and Thomas wondered if it was just empty space or if it was used for anything.

[triskehale]

"It does," Derek tells him, and then laughs delightedly and shakes his head. "Sounds like someone has leather jacket envy. You can borrow one, if you want."

He shoots Thomas a teasing look, and then darts forward to lift a low hanging branch out of the way so that Thomas can run underneath it. "Actually, I'm moving back into Dimera for the winter. It'll just be easier. Better for the animals, and if I want people to keep visiting me, I better make it so that they don't have to trek through the woods in a foot of snow."

[shuck_you]

"I've got a good enough jacket," Thomas said, tugging on his shirt. It wasn't the jacket in question but he'd actually invested in something warm and something that wasn't falling apart at the seams. The light jacket he'd had back in the Scorch was in pieces by now. "Besides, your jackets would be too big."

He could just picture himself standing in one of Derek's jackets, sleeves hanging over his arms while the coat made him look like he was about five years old.

"I didn't even think of that," Thomas said with a snicker. "I'm sure some people would have still gone out there because they just can't resist you."

[triskehale]

Derek already knows exactly what Thomas would look like in one of his leather jackets because he's effectively seen it already, but he doesn't mention that. He barely even makes the connection between Thomas and Stiles anymore, except when it's glaringly obvious. They may share the same face, the same body, but that's not what's important. They're entirely different people.

It took some time, but now when Derek looks at Thomas he just sees Thomas, his friend, and it doesn't even ache at all. Derek is glad for that. Thomas doesn't deserve for anyone to look at him and see a ghost.

"Is that right?" Derek asks with a pleased chuckle of his own, reaching out to lightly elbow Thomas' arm. "You on that list?"

[shuck_you]

"Maybe," Thomas said, shrugging. He'd never really encountered snow so he wasn't sure exactly how bad it would get here but he'd trekked through terrible conditions just to get to a dilapidated city with people that would have rather killed him instead of welcomed him so he suspected he could get to Derek's just fine.

"Depends on how much snow was on the ground," he continued with a smirk at both his words and Derek's elbow. "And how much I wanted to see Jinx. I'm not gonna go out in anything that's taller than me. I don't wanna freeze or something."

[triskehale]

"Right, the cat," Derek says with a laugh. "I forgot you like her more than me."

They're deep in the woods now, where the sounds of the city are muffled by the depth of the trees. It's silent except for the occasional chirp of a bird and the sounds that they're making; their heartbeats, and their harsh breathing. The sound of their footsteps hitting the hard-packed earth. Derek likes it more than he probably should.

"I told you that I'd show you the snow when it comes," Derek says, pulling ahead a little bit. He realizes that Thomas doesn't need Derek to show him the snow. One day he'll wake up and it'll just be there, and Derek isn't sure why he wants to see the look on Thomas' face the first time that he sees it so badly. He just does. "If you want."

[shuck_you]

"I've seen snow," Thomas said but didn't elaborate for a few seconds, letting himself run quietly and soak up the smell of the trees, the feel of the dirt and the brisk breeze that blew through his hair and turned his cheeks pink.

"In pictures," he finally added, rubbing his arm across his brow again. "Too hot for snow back home. The sun's not gonna cool down for awhile, I think. If it ever does. I guess we're lucky enough that the radiation's died off a bit so people can manage to live longer than a week there, if they're prepared."

[triskehale]

"Oh," Derek says quietly, frowning at Thomas' words. His world sounds like such a terrible place, and Derek can't help to be selfishly glad that Thomas is here. At least here, Thomas can enjoy the sunshine.

"Then I suppose you don't need me to show you," Derek replies, feeling a little stupid about it. He picks up speed and rounds the bend, skidding to a halt when he sees a doe and a fawn in their path. They freeze and stare at him for a long moment, as deers are wont to do, before they finally tear off into the brush.

[shuck_you]

"Derek, it was a shucking joke," Thomas shouted, watching him pull away and having to work to catch up to him. He almost barreled into his back when he realized Derek had come to a sudden stop.

It took him a second to realize why and then he watched, wide eyed, as the deer bolt away.

"Guess we scared them," Thomas remarked, glancing over at Derek before he started jogging again.

[triskehale]

"You scared them with all your yelling," Derek remarks, trying to move past the awkward moment. He darts forward and tugs on the back of Thomas' shirt, pressing his knuckles lightly to the small of Thomas' back before sidling up next to him. "I'll show up with hot chocolate when it snows, okay?"

[shuck_you]

The touch made Thomas shiver, warm and unexpected. He stopped running and looked back at Derek, one eyebrow cocked and slight smirk on his face.

"I think you'd die if you ever showed up at my apartment without food or a drink," he teased. "You're just lucky that I appreciate it and I do eat and drink everything you bring even if I don't do it right in front of you."

[triskehale]

Derek stops as well, letting out an amused chuckle and smiling wryly as he smooths Thomas' shirt back down. The look on Thomas' face makes him raise an amused eyebrow right back at him, just on reflex.

"So I like making sure that you're okay," Derek says, squeezing Thomas' hip and shrugging one shoulder as he lets go. He lifts his gaze to meet Thomas' eyes and laughs a little. "Sue me."

[shuck_you]

"I would if I could," Thomas joked, reaching over and giving Derek's shoulder a playful shove. He sobered pretty quickly though and smiled.

"I appreciate it though, I do," he promised quietly. "Even if I don't eat it right there, I do appreciate it and thanks for thinking of me and trying to make sure I'm okay. You're doing a good job. I'm good. I'm doing okay."

[triskehale]

"All you'd get is a bar and a cat," Derek jokes back, smiling and flashing his red eyes playfully when Thomas shoves at him. But then Thomas keeps speaking and Derek's expression sobers, cheeks flushing a light pink at the praise. It means a lot for Derek to know that he's appreciated, and those words, you're doing a good job, make him feel sort of warm all over.

"Good," Derek says after a moment, swaying in a bit closer. He laughs softly, mostly at himself, and gives Thomas a little shrug. "I probably won't stop, but I'm glad you're doing okay."

[shuck_you]

"I'm doing just fine," Thomas promised with another little grin. He reached over and curved his hand around Derek's shoulder, giving it a squeeze. "You've helped me a lot. You've also run me ragged and made me scare off deer but you've helped me a lot and you're important. To me. To a lot of people but to me too."

Words sometimes came slowly to Thomas, came after the fact when saying them wouldn't make sense but when he had something to say, he was trying to say it now. He knew Derek had heard some horrible stuff in the other city and Thomas wanted to make sure he knew what he'd heard wasn't true. At all.

[triskehale]

"You like being run ragged," Derek shoots back, swallowing hard as Thomas' long fingers curl around his shoulder. For someone who is so desperately in need of praise, Derek sure has a hard time knowing what to do with it. His cheeks go pink and he gives Thomas a small, genuine smile. He leans forward a bit, feeling the urge to press their foreheads together like in that other Darrow, when Thomas had helped him feel so safe and calm, but he manages to resist.

"I'm glad. You mean lot to me too," Derek says, voice low. He's truly appreciative because he knows that words aren't easy for Thomas, just like they aren't for him. Thomas wouldn't sugarcoat things, or offer meaningless platitudes, and his heart remains steady.

"It's funny," Derek continues, huffing out a breath. "I can hear that you aren't lying. Why is it so hard to believe things when they're good?"

[shuck_you]

"It's hard to believe things about yourself when you've thought something else for a long time," Thomas guessed. Even though his memories weren't all there and he couldn't remember most of his life, what he could remember about himself wasn't good. It was easier to wallow in the self loathing than to believe you were good and made good decisions.

"It's easier for me to tell you how much of a good guy you are then for me to believe it about myself," he said with a shrug. "I think it's just how it works. If you can't believe it about yourself, that's okay. You're still a good guy. I know it. So do other people."

[triskehale]

"If I'm a good guy, you are too," Derek assures him. He knows that they can go in this circle for hours. Derek can say nice things about Thomas until he turns blue, but have a hard time believing the same things about himself. They've both been through so much, and they're both so broken, but at least they're helping to put the little pieces back together, no matter how long it takes.

He just leans in to press their foreheads together for a brief moment before pulling away and smiling at him. He nods and then turns to look over his shoulder, gesturing for Thomas to follow. "Come on, we're close to the water."

[shuck_you]

Thomas jogged after him, smiling slightly as he did. Once he got up to Derek, he fell into a walk, stretching his arms over his head and rolling his shoulders to ease the burn that had formed during their run.

"I'm still not gonna swim," he reiterated with a shake of his head. "Too cold and I don't have your ability to be a human shucking furnace even when it's winter outside. Cold water's either gonna turn me into an ice cube or make me sick."